old feelings
I was just on facebook and this guy I know just invited me to join his group for him dressing up like batman and asking people to tip him to get their picture taken with him. Anyway, umm this guy just likes dressing up like batman and robin both. I have known him for probably three or four years like it is not a phase and it is not usually his get rich quick thing he just likes to do it for some reason. Also I think you guys should know that this guy takes himself very seriously and is a dick. Also he is a decently good looking guy so he seems to get a lot of hot dates but they are always first dates because he has a pretty bad personality. I guess he has never really been uhhh mean to me except that he fucking snuck into the comedy condo that I had to clean and made a mess and annoyed the othe people staying there who were actually supposed to be there. Oh yeah also when he was in the comedy condo which he illegally snuck into he went on this messageboard and pretended to be a big fan of his own comedy and made a thread being liek oh man this guy is so great and then someone called him on it and his response was basically SO! Sorry I was just realising that I never told you guys that a guy like that exists.
I stopped by at my grandparents house today. They live in a home now but grandpa was in the garage cleaning stuff up when I got there. They are putting their house up for sale now. I helped him sweep up some birdseed and cracked corn stuff off the floor of the garage that the racoons got into. My grandpa said the coons love cracked corn. He was just sitting on a chair in there when I went in and I sat down next to him for a bit. I told him that I love the smell of the garage (It smells sort of like a dirt basement in there)....anyway he just said something like oh this old stink....but I can't help but think that he must like the smell of it in there too. He spent a lot of time in there and my grandpa lived in that house his whole life. His father built it before he was born. It made me so damn sad, I bawled all the way to Summerside and the truth is I am bawling again now just thinking about it. I just wish that he could understand how much that smell actually meant to me. The only time I ever smelled anything like it when I was kid was when I went to their house and it was so exciting to me. It makes me think of my grandpa out in the garage working on something or out in his garden. He was a farmer and he knows an aweful lot about growing things. He also had a keen interest in antigue engines. He used to collect them and put them in the parades. I was always really impressed with him. My grandma used to grow a long row of flowers at the edge of the lawn. Huge roses and the like which she entered into this flower competition in town. She would win a lot of the prizes and one time she let me enter a flower in under my own name and it came in third. They had this bluish/purple bouncy ball that I would take out in the driveway and bounce around and it made this special kind of echo sound when it bounced. I don't really know how to describe it- I just mean that the smell made me remember what that place felt like when I was a kid and it was something special. I can't remember the places we lived so hot when I was a kid because they were mostly row houses and we moved around a lot. I can't get any of this out eloquently. All I can say is that I felt happy to spend that bit of time with him but sad as hell at the same time. I don't know how to cope with aging and death. I was supposed to go see my dads father before he died and I just didn't. I felt like I just couldnt stand to see him so sick and I don't know how to act around someone when you know they are going to die soon. I want to say a million things but I am afraid to and I always start to kinda cry and feel embarrassed. |
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